Musicians Heaven
A jazz trombonist is knocked down by a car and finds himself at the pearly gates, where St. Peter is standing with a clipboard in his hand. The trombonist says, “Where am I?” St Peter tells him that he’s in heaven and asks him what he did when he was alive on earth. The trombone player explains that he was a jazz musician but still can’t believe that he is in heaven. St. Peter assures him that he is indeed, in heaven and points out some of the musicians that are there.  “Look, there’s  Count Basie, Louis, Dizzy, Lester, Bird, Miles, The Duke……they’re all here. They have jam session every night and you can play with them all. You can have whatever rhythm section you like and play whatever style you want. The pianos are all in tune, the audience are turned on to all styles of jazz and they listen without talking in loud voices and are knowledgeable and appreciate the music.”
“Bloody hell, this is heaven”, said the trombone player. “Tell me, is God a jazz fan?”
“Oh yes”, said St. Peter. “But there is only one problem. He has a girl friend who’s a Singer……….”

Feel free to contribute yours

Gerard Hoffnung was born in Berlin in 1925 and went to London in 1939 as a schoolboy refugee. Although he died at the early age of 34 years, he achieved in his short life enough to fill a whole series of lifetimes. Artist, teacher, cartoonist, caricaturist, musician and tuba player, broadcaster and raconteur, a much sought after speaker at the Oxford and Cambridge Unions and prison visitor, a Quaker - these were all facets of a creative personality. He was almost as gifted a musician as he was an artist, his true passion being for the brass instruments of the orchestra; this led him one day to purchase a bass tuba which, with serious dedication, he set about learning to play. He was 25 at the time and, after two or three years and many hours of practice, he found himself ensconced amidst the brass section of the Morley College Orchestra as their bass tuba player. From this vantage point at the rear of the orchestra his perceptive eye was free to focus, with affection and critical amusement, on the foibles and idiosyncrasies of his fellow performers. This new experience further stimulated his imagination and love of music and musicians and inspired the many hundreds of musical cartoons produced during the final years of his short life.

Gerard Hoffnung